Fickle
fickle
..::.:
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Fickle [userpic]
FUCK YOU, BUDDHISM

Priest during the dharna said, almost word for word:

"It is inappropriate to be sad." Because if you're sad, you're harming your sister's, your daughter's, chance to move onto a better life. Maybe she has got through all the unfortunate karma that made her suffer.

And then he talked about how she had such a short life and how giving food to priests means you are giving long life, beauty, strength, clear-mindedness and something else. And about how it's wrong to be sad, it's selfish, because you are mourning the loss of a loved one while they have moved on happily and just.

Hate. HATE.

FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU.

He spoke in English too, just for me. And gave me a book on Buddhism and tied the pirith nula around my wrist.

Fuck you. My sister's been dead three years and I don't think there's a single day where I don't think of her, my sister's been in my life as long as I can remember, she still shows up in my dreams, don't fucking tell me that me being sad is hurting her, fuck her and fuck your platitudes and fuck your prayers.

Fickle [userpic]
2 years.

My sister's been dead two years today.

This is not what the icon-maker had in mind when she made this, but it's true for my sister -- she died at age 18, two days before her 19th birthday. She's never going to grow up.

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