hey everyone names angel. im just curouse i need help making an add for my pan fandom but i dont know where to begin, i seek your wisdom :)

Those. People. Be. Trippin'

STILL

STILL they play this shit.

I suppose I should be grateful or something that 2009 is bringing some of the muck all out into the light. But this is some BOLD ass racist shit. And everytime I want to stop giving Obama a break, I see one of these oozing white thought sores and think, nah dread. Let him settle some more. Cause those people have lobbyists and who knows what shit dem a pulling behind the scenes.

IJDEK!

All of the IJ holiday sales have ended and prices are back to normal. We will be putting Permanently Insane accounts on sale for their regular price before Christmas.

That anxiety this morning? Knocked me out for the -whole- day. Now to see if I have a brain for food making.

ETA: On the one hand, I want to go 'I have trauma from shopping?!!' and then y'know, I remember my child & teenhood.

I have turned on today's special Black Friday sale.

Until 4:00pm(EST) we will be holding a sale on Permanently Insane accounts, Permanent Extra Userpics, and Insane Userpics the prices are as follows.

Permanently Insane account - $30
Insane Userpics - $70
Permanent Extra Userpics - $5

At 4:00 today all prices on IJ will go back to their normal amounts.

Have just bought myself an external hd enclosure, and a internal hd. Cost just over $100. I can buy books. I can buy food. I can buy groceries. I can pay my bills. But when it comes to certain purchases I end up like this, wanting to pee and vomit on myself in total fear that I made the wrong choice, didn't do enough research, didn't do enough number crunching.

I know I researched this for most of the year. I know that my experiences with TigerDirect were positive several years ago, and chances are they'll be positive again. My mother's experiences are not my own, especially given how she tends to complicate a situation.

Still, logic? Ain't no friend of anxiety. Logic gets the 'Talk to the Hand' and Anxiety sashays off and owns the place.

PS: Waited an hour and a half to add a $7 mouse to my order. My order? Already processed and in a box. And thus I'd have to pay shipping. So uhm, guess I'll mosy down to Target or something - if I find the energy, and see what I can do and hope things last out till then.

PPS: The Media Player of my dreams, ie, with features I've been dreaming about? Just became available. Of course I just spent money on myself. So I have difficulty seeing me spending even -more- money on myself. Guess I should take comfort knowing it is -here-. (ETA: OMG it has ... ok, this would just be boring tech gush. But it has unexpected tech gush. Seriously, if they threw in a camera, I'd likely end up buying it right this second)

It has a camera.

A camera people.

*puddles into amoeba of drool*

*Willow knows what she's getting herself for the holidays, even if she has to call it an early birthday present*
ETA: There are WEP vs WPA complications. But not enough to keep from all 'Oooh'

http://twolumps.net/d/20091127.html

zvi_likes_tv available via Twitter. (Either DM's or @Zvi_likes_tv)

She says she's bored, so anyone willing entertain her with tweets, feel free.

http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0341.html

So I caught wind of this post/essay/meta on Lily tonight.

What struck me most was not the content itself (though it makes me happy, because I love Lily and it's annoying to see people tear her apart rather than embrace both her humanity and flaws alongside her strengths), but that fact that 1) it's necessary for fans to defend against such a wide range of misogynistic bashing of female characters (I can remember Anti-Narcissa essays back in the day that made me SEETHE) and 2) I can only recall a handful of essays that cover a somewhat sane positions on canon/interpretation, but I can think of comms full of the Lily-bashing/female-character/any-character bashing. I'm sure the reality is not so uneven, but in my mind it very much is.

Ultimately, it always comes back to this - why do some fans, fanfic writers, roleplayers, etc feel the need to tear down everyone around a character just to make their own more sympathetic? We may not always agree with the creator, but we were still provided with toys to play with that have depths we can explore simply by logically assessing the canon. Is is that people are insecure about their ability to rewrite characters as they are in canon, is it just laziness, or is it speaking to a need to make their character one hundred percent right?

For me, something that has always put me off a fic or a character bio is the moment they make someone the convenient villain to get what they want, without any thought for how it demeans their own character to do so. Be it tortured!Sirius or ignored!Andromeda or beaten-by-Ron!Hermione or delicate-flower!Draco or whatever, in the end it always feels like it's taken away from or trivialized that character (Sirius escaped to save his life, rather than it be because he was not being treated as a person with opinions and feelings of his own, Andromeda ran away because her family didn't love her and Ted was the only one who did, instead of it being she changed her purist mind for one man and retained other prejudices, etc) rather than make them sympathetic and layered.

Ugh, and I should so be sleeping, family things to do in a few hours!

[ as of 3 a.m. EST. ]

FIRST COMMENTER TO OWEN'S JOURNAL: MALE.
EVERY OTHER COMMENTER TO OWEN'S JOURNAL: FEMALE.

We need some testosterone up in here, plz. *DYING*

Zvi, (zvi_likes_tv) is currently inpatient (and doing better for it) and accessible only via her cellphone.

Good wishes appreciated.

Just woke up, crashed this morning with residual panic (sometimes it comes in waves). Best thing so far in the fifteen minutes I've been up? GP Doctor got my message, called to find out how I was, understood that I don't have control over that level of panic, let me know I didn't have to take the medicine and we could work something else out, wants to make sure I try and get a reschedule in within two weeks.

I want to cry in relief.

It lowers so much remaining tension with dealing with people. Really.

Meanwhile I want to attempt to tidy up some in the apt, and see if I can't cook myself a turkey breast for Thursday.

Tommy Icon for Self

Oh yeah, in Dreamwidth Isn't Archiving My Comments With LJ Archive News? I deleted all but my race rants from imported LJ entries. LJ-Archive still can't sync properly even though it now says I have 14698 comments instead of 70k something. Also despite using LJ-Sec to delete posts, some just randomly stayed and had to be deleted by hand. So I'm pondering that LJ-Sec is yet another tool that doesn't quite work with Dreamwidth.

( It got longer that expected )

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/passiveaggressivenotes/~3/638BV8oJMAY/

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=11845

Writes Rebecca in Staunton, Virginia:  “My college dining hall is pretty awful. The food isn’t very good and the lines are always incredibly long.  So, when we had our Thanksgiving dinner a couple days ago (one of the few meals where the food is actually good and we can serve ourselves), naturally people got over-excited and took more food than the dining hall expected.  The next day, we found this little ‘apology’ taped over the menu suggestion box and on every single table.”

related: don’t blame us

Three hours ago an old character grabbed hold of my brain and I made the hold (yes, goodbye for the moment Hugo, maybe if I can be awesomely active with my four I'll still app him in a few weeks).

Eight minutes ago I submitted the completed app. No, Louis is still not done. HE WILL BE THOUGH. I just want to be sure he isn't going to infringe on Cassie's niche in the game too badly because I think they are more than a bit alike and wah I am an anxious and fretful person.

So, anyhow, I've potentially unleashed Owen Gibbon upon the world again. This is the character I'm actually embarrassed to be "seen with" and yet I'm playing him again. Craaaazy. It's not that he's going to be mean or violent or visibly purist or anything, he'll be a perfect gentleman and nice to everyone and protective of children and constantly sending little trinkets to the ladies that catch his attention, whether they're single or married. It's that he's such an ICKY PIECE OF WORK underneath it all AND I DON'T LIKE HIM AT ALL. I want to slap a warning sticker on him so characters don't get taken in by him, because otherwise it's likely a lot will because he just SUCKS PEOPLE IN. AND I JUST FLAIL.

But, umm. Yes. Provided he's accepted, hide your females.

http://twolumps.net/d/20091125.html

So y'know how I said I'd make it to my doctor's appt? I forgot I'm not the sole voice of authority in here. Just cancelled it.

Too much anxiety at confronting her about the lyrica. Just left voicemail saying I couldn't come in and explaining why. Now maybe my womb will stop hurting just a little bit and I'll stop shaking and my chest will stop hurting and I can stop crying.

Y'know?

Sometimes, I am brave. At other times, I worry my anxiety might cause me to shiv someone. Ok maybe not cause me to shiv someone. But shving could seriously happen - I get violent or terrified when I'm very anxious with no real way to tell. And seriously, if a treat of Peanut Butter Cups shaped like Christmas trees couldn't get me to leave the house, and the threat of a library fine, then I need to pay attention and not try to walk, outside, when my lower half feels all TMI.

Meantime, I'll be over here curled up in a ball, trying not to should or 'you are such a coward' myself. Oh yeah, also no SI - have to remember to focus on that.

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/passiveaggressivenotes/~3/raBly_J_Gyw/

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=11807

Neva in Berkeley was looking to kill time between classes with some trashy TV when she noticed this teaser for an episode of Rock of Love. “The description did not match the episode at all,” Neva says, “but it was far more entertaining.”

related: meet my new therapist, the cable guy

I had every intention of going to sleep when I headed to the bedroom at a reasonable hour (This is after the nap you insisted I take Fickle). But I just couldn't. Anxiety cranked up and up, so I had to find something to research to soothe myself. Eh, that did not go well and the results of what I did end up reading/surfing are at the bottom of the post.

But, I've realized where my current pain is coming from. Yes it is raining. Yes I do have joint pain. But I also have womb pain. A particular type of womb pain. A panic induced womb pain. Oh how I did not miss it. And yes it's related to my mother. Anyway it explains why I didn't want to go to bed when it came on - fears of nightmares no doubt just under my subconscious.

I will get to my doctor's appt in the rain today, but this kind of pain is even more debilitating when I'm out of the house. So eff la de dah brain, you craven politician you.


=============

Backtracking January, possibly doing exposure to the harmful stimuli therapy for desensization or something around those lines, I came across this line, from someone who'd had several people patiently explaining to them their ass was showing.

Note stopping conversation for a family emergency - totally valid. It's just sigh + eye roll when they decide this is the best response t things that had been pointed out to them:

"Praise is MORE IMPORTANT when dealing with the -isms, even though it's true that we shouldn't HAVE to praise people for doing the right thing."

Apparently some of us in this world need to walk around with backpack ovens so we can hand out fresh baked cookies all the time as a first impulse.

http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0340.html

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/passiveaggressivenotes/~3/ESUcqgQTRBQ/

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=11764

Our anonymous submitter from Herndon, Virginia and two of his friends — “all three of us on the large size” — were having lunch at a restaurant when a lady sitting nearby passed them this dear little note of encouragement.

related: hey, fatty

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/passiveaggressivenotes/~3/HzOVWSm2tY8/

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=11804

P.J. in Huntington, New York says his girlfriend found this note on the stairs “the morning after she came over dressed like a school girl.”

Meanwhile, P.J. leaves several questions unanswered in his explanation, among them…So, why did your your girlfriend come over to Mom’s house dressed like Britney circa 1998? How old is this girlfriend, relative to the age of a) an actual school girl and b) yourself? Is your mother, in fact, a cat?

Moral of the story: When dressing to impress, show your respect for Mom’s taste by dressing like something out a good porn movie. (I mean, Lauren, really, sexy school girl? So trite!)

related: (you know the book)

So it's begun. The holiday hints, nudges, shoves by my mother at how much my siblings would love to see me for Christmas and how much she can do for me if I show up.

Considering how...odd I feel right now? Like I don't even know if I want to to Zvi's for Thanksgiving, because I'm on edge, in pain, out of sorts, pondering spoons, etc? I just...

It feels superstitious to say I feel pre-warnings that this will be a bad holiday season and instinct tells me to hunker down and wait for it to be over. But that's how I feel right now. Find some books I can enjoy, have pizza and wait for January 2nd.

Obviously I'm depressed and it's cranking my lack of sociability ever upwards, yes?

http://twolumps.net/d/20091123.html

IN ALL MY RP YEARS I'VE NEVER CHALLENGED A HOLD SOMEONE MADE BEFORE ME. Actually, I don't think I've ever been challenged after making the primary hold, but if I was, it must not have panned out. It's really nerve wracking, I don't know how people do it regularly.

So, PB suggestions? I need a PB for Neville Longbottom, age 21. He's an alternate timeline Neville, so there is another Neville already in play, PB'd by Daniel Cudmore. Originally I was aiming for a blonder PB, but with Daniel being dark-haired it won't work to have a dark-haired Neville and a blonde-haired Neville, at least to me. I'd like my Neville to look different, not just because even the dopple characters need different PBs, but because his life was very distinctly different. Someone thinner, serious and nervous looking, but with the potential to not be either in some icons, would be good.

Also, Megan. NOW YOU REALLY NEED TO DO GINNY.

http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0339.html

My hip has hurt for three days straight, and it's kind of getting to me. It's not a biting, omg need to vomit pain. But it feels wrong and makes me worry and overthink.

Also I miss DW. Yes I'm still commenting, but I miss the people that drop in to say *hugs*. I'm very much aware that it's a 'deal' to come to iJay and people tend to do so and catch up on a bunch of posts at once. The major thing is, however, the very reason I'm not over there (inability to save comments) makes missing it useless. Because I'd be there and anxious about not being able to save it, or just be xposting there with comments on here.

But it rankles a lot that some problem with my imported lj comments apparently isn't duplicable. It's the thing that originally made me go - hey this could get me just about 98% or more LJ free and pay attention to dw in the first place. And then it irks that you can't show comments but have comments closed. And it irks that you can't have comments open on individual posts if the comment default for the journal itself is 'comments disabled'. I mean Blogger has that. Since when has Blogger been on the cutting edge of the industry. They only figured out how to do easy jump cuts THIS YEAR. And it doesn't even work for everyone.

Meanwhile I've discovered/confirmed/reconfirmed my romance hot button trope.

But it doesn't feel very important at all given the hip pain. Seriously hip pain sucks. A lot. With rocks. Slimey rocks.

Also? Dragonage: Origins will never* drop to a price I consider reasonable given its skeezy race and trans issues *mental tantrum with fist stomping*

*[Note the dramatic emphasis]

Comment below and I will tell you which of your characters that I've played against are my favorites and why I love them. Then repost this in your own journal.

100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do; Parts 1 & 2

I read it all the way through and suddenly realized why as a child eating out in America confused me so much (because things were so different) and why I get so easily irked when I go out to eat now.

Here I was attributing it to me being anti-social.

'Are you still working on that?' - *grits teeth* Why are you calling the meal or the experience of eating it WORK?

And the constant hovering and pouring water that some people think is good service but which just makes my stomach tense up and cramp because there's no moment to relax without someone in your face all the time. I find nothing wrong with going out and treating myself to dinner, PLEASE PLEASE do not think, dear servers, that I need company and you're doing me a favour stopping by every five to seven minutes. I'm either reading, or enjoying the view and meal.

What's most revealing to me is the comments. People insisting they can never eat or work in a restaurant owned by the person who compiled the list because there are too many rules. People insisting that someone who has all their rules must be underpaying their staff, or that they're expecting a lot of work and formality out of minimum wage staff. As if how much you get paid to do a thing, dictates whether or not you do it well and properly.

Then there's the people who're all 'You'll go out of business if you give away recipes'

And the people who think the rules are obnoxious.

And the person who called it 'early 20th Century British servant manners' - as an INSULT.

And the people who can't tell the difference between telling a customer about dishes without stating which dishes are their favourite. I mean I only give a damn about the waiter's favourite dish if I'm trying to decide something and they say 'I'm a total chocoholic and I really like x'. In which cause I immediately know it's likely to be too rich for my tastebuds.

I finally found a comment that cements to me the general consensus of the 'WTF comments'

101. A Waiter will never, by word or sign, indicate that he or she believes he is a human being of equal worth as the patrons of the restaurant. When the Waiter accepts a check signed by the restaurant owner/manager, that proves he or she is inferior.


102. A Waiter will never, when off duty, off the restaurant premises, or anywhere else, act in a manner unbecoming to the restaurant. The Waiter is an ambassador for the restaurant and is at all time responsible to the restaurant for his or her behavior. The Waiter is permanently the property of the restaurant.

We are starting this years InsaneJournal holiday sale. From now until the end of the day Friday, November 27 we are going to be holding a sale on Self-Committed[paid] accounts and Extra Userpics.

The prices are be as follows

Self-Committed[paid]
1 Month -> $5
6 Month -> $15 $10
12 Month -> $25 $18

Extra Userpicx
6 Month -> $10 $5
12 Month -> $20 $15

Then on Friday November 27th from 8am until 4pm (Eastern US time) we will be running a very special sale on Permanently Insane accounts.

http://twolumps.net/d/20091120.html

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/passiveaggressivenotes/~3/BqlKHt0xiGQ/

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=11799

Shawna in Toronto spotted this note during a visit to her grandparents’ condo in Miami. The only remaining evidence of “despicable vandalism,” she says, was a bit of scratched paint. Making “those that have the most to gain”…the painting contractors?

related: be informed, homeland security will be

http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0338.html

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/passiveaggressivenotes/~3/8e2Nlea3AYo/

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=11780

Who needs a water cooler? Nothing fosters “community” like shared networked printers! Need proof?

First up, an anonymous submission from a cubicle farm in Rochester Hills, Michigan. (Not pictured, our submitter says: two additional copies of the same “Pomptly” note to the left and right of the original.)

And from Illinois…

From Omaha, Nebraska…

(And from Brooklyn…and just about everywhere else, from Glastonbury, Connecticut to Geneva, Switzerland.)

Meanwhile, Melissa from San Francisco was recently at the D.C. bureau of a news magazine for a press meeting, but being a devoted PAN-ista, she managed to sneak out of the conference room while the coast was clear to make sure she could capture this shot for us. (So please excuse the blurriness.)

related: this is not positive communication

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/passiveaggressivenotes/~3/E-QixAwUw6E/

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=11755

Travis in Edmonton says this painting (which “resembled a tenth-grader’s crack at designing fantasy novel jacket”) appeared one day in the alley behind the pub where he works. Feeling puckish, Travis says, “Every evening I would turn it toward the south-facing balconies…and every morning it would be face-down in the street again, until eventually it disappeared for good.”

related: you can have the inflatable bananas

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/passiveaggressivenotes/~3/UqnzwQeEVcM/

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=11752

While some old folks (and grandmothers in particular) are seasoned masters of the heart-tugging passive-aggressive guilt trip, there’s another breed of blue-hairs who’ve seemingly given up on all the social niceties and instead just give their unfiltered opinion on any subject at hand. their all-purpose excuse, as demonstrated by this example from Tacoma, Washington: “I’m old!”

Yet while this group certainly helps make reading the “letters to the editor” page entertaining, Charity in Westfield, Wisconsin says the “grumpy old crank” routine isn’t quite as amusing when you have to live with one of them. “I’ve been staying with my grandmother for two months,” Charity says, and “she tells me daily that I stink.” She woke up one morning to find this slightly more polite message….which was not-so-politely attached to toilet seat with packing tape.

related: a day in the life of a crank

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/passiveaggressivenotes/~3/vx5kIra5Xpw/

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=11750

Our anonymous submitter from Chicago says she and her four siblings recently received this somewhat cryptic e-mail from dear old dad. Explains A: “The initials refer to our names (and spouses’ names, where applicable). Dad lives in West Bloomfield. I’m pretty sure it means he wants us to visit?”

related: love, Dad

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/passiveaggressivenotes/~3/90I9ZSqhC3k/

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=11747

Writes Mike in Provo, Utah: “This is a letter my friend Liz found on the windshield of her car during the time she was dating her now-husband. They framed the note, and now have it proudly displayed in their living room.”

related: a substance user and a player!

Is it me? or is Publisher's Weekly soundly putting their foot up it, right until it comes out of their arse when it comes to ignoring or bad talking female writers and readers and female centric genres?

They just got trounced on their 'best of' and now sucktastic title on a feature interview. Someone is snorting some extra strong powdered stereotypes over there.

Hip Pain - > Often Caused By Sciatica

Sciatica - > Often Caused By A Slipped Disc

Slipped Disc - > When I Was Eleven

(Growing)Pain / Body Not Feeling Trustworthy - > Ever Since I Was Eleven

Back Pain/Spasms, Neck Pain Spasms, History of Migraines - > Numerous

History of Knee & Ankle Problems -> Numerous

History of Car Accidents - > Yes

Mentions To Doctor Of All Of This - > Numerous

Frustration At Having To 'Google' My Symptoms To Truly Know WTF Is Wrong With Me? -> Enormous

Urge To Punch All Medical Professionals In The Face - Overwhelming

Addtionals:

Fibromyalgia Related To Spinal Injury -> Yes

--

I am no longer sure I give a damn about 'professional' diagnosis if I can find deeper explanations on why my body's been falling apart for years. And I've spent too much of 2009 trying to tell myself I'm not lazy, and I'm not tired - I'm reacting to pain and that's why I'm avoiding things/doing less. I originally filtered this flocked, but someone else journaling about their experiences actually helped me get to this point. So passing the verification that this IS happening forward, I guess.

Current Mood: indescribable

http://twolumps.net/d/20091118.html

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/passiveaggressivenotes/~3/m8rt0ts358c/

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=11778

Exhibit a) The “urban” example, from the Silver Lake neighborhood of L.A…

Exhibit b) The equally ineffectual suburban cousin of exhibit a, from “a quiet, small community in San Diego where the residents are basically all over 50.”

related: bleak house

http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0337.html

News courtesy of Viridian5 - Lyrica causes SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.

My uneasiness at the casual prescription the first time the doctor suggested it, had me greatful it was getting the long approval process from my insurance. Then this second time she brought it up all 'Oh sciatica and nerve damage are helped by it' - uneasiness made me not pick it up.

Come my next appointment there is going to be a LOOOONG ass conversation and possibly me shopping around for a new doctor. Old therapist reccomendation or not. Cause WTF? I even asked her to list the side effects. She pulled her her little digital pharma guide and said 'Sleepiness'.

So that shit needs updating and she needs talking to for NOT updating it and MORE.

Shit. Not trusting a doctor means I'm less likely to go to appointments. Shit shit double shit.

Maybe I won't even wait till our next appointment. I might just leave her a voicemail or hand deliver a very pissed off letter.

G'damn 2009. I am so done.

PS/ETA: My uneasiness btw came from online research of the product where suicidal thoughts did not come up, but other side effects did. I took my doctor's claim of 'sleepiness' as her saying 'the major side effect' -- I... yeah, still too angry.

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/passiveaggressivenotes/~3/viNLmb6lm_w/

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=11775

Maybe ’cause it would only draw more attention to douche-canoes like these.

related: facebook: a place for navel-gazing narcissists

extra credit: how to add a dislike button to facebook [lifehacker]

... Was a total failure. I went to bed at 9, woke up at 2am and then crashed at 9am and slept until 3:30pm. I know some of this is the fault of my anti-anxiety medication. But whoa.

PS: Perhaps I should take a page out of America's books and never name anything Operation ______ unless I want it to fail.

http://twolumps.net/d/20091116.html

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/passiveaggressivenotes/~3/Yd5kFUbBjgM/

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=11773

Perhaps Dirty Lady #2 got an office job?

related: the most disgusting thing is a nasty lady

Title: We Will Not Grow Old
Author: leda_speaks
Fandom: Sanctuary
Characters/Pairing: Helen/Ashley
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 280
Summary: Ashley comes to her, now
Warnings: Parent/child incest
Disclaimer: Not mine, making no profit, no infringement intended

link

Author: Bitterfig

Title: Away From the Mirror

Fandom: Dr. Who

Pairing: Rose/Donna

Summary: Set during the episode “Turn Left”, Rose helps Donna to deal with her fears.

Beta Reader: Fedink

Word Count: 670

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Mild sexual content, disturbing imagery (the woman has a giant reality-warping beetle on her back).

Author’s Note: Written for grdnofevrythng’s femslash porn battle for the prompt “Doctor Who, Donna/Rose, looking glass."