FUCK YOU, BUDDHISM
Priest during the dharna said, almost word for word:
"It is inappropriate to be sad." Because if you're sad, you're harming your sister's, your daughter's, chance to move onto a better life. Maybe she has got through all the unfortunate karma that made her suffer.
And then he talked about how she had such a short life and how giving food to priests means you are giving long life, beauty, strength, clear-mindedness and something else. And about how it's wrong to be sad, it's selfish, because you are mourning the loss of a loved one while they have moved on happily and just.
FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU.
He spoke in English too, just for me. And gave me a book on Buddhism and tied the pirith nula around my wrist.
Fuck you. My sister's been dead three years and I don't think there's a single day where I don't think of her, my sister's been in my life as long as I can remember, she still shows up in my dreams, don't fucking tell me that me being sad is hurting her, fuck her and fuck your platitudes and fuck your prayers.